Lakeside Bicycles 2018 Grand Tour Guide

Lakeside Bicycles

428 N. State St., Lake Oswego, OR 97034
503-699-8665   Fax: 503-697-5557
Hours: M-F 10-7, Sat 10-6, Sun 12-5

Dahon, fine bicycles that happen to fold.


  • Send the Eddy Merckx shrine out for re-gilding
  • Get cat sized Ray Bans for Magnus so we can do the 'Ray Charles' YouTube
  • Mystery Science 3000 version of Triplets of Belleville
  • Change out of kit right after each ride.  "Chamois Time" is not the same as "Saddle Time"
  • Get two friends to start smoking so I can beat someone up a hill
  • Eat less candy (including "Cliff Blocks")
  • Let go inner psychopath.   The greater the likelihood that the driver will leave his car, the more savage the beating you are likely to get
  • Channel self delusions to ever better times on Larch Mountain
  • Assume full responsibility for bike handling failures.  Sometimes we just screw up
  • Remind myself that in France you would be viewed as hopelessly indifferent to cycling
  • Remember that intuition is no substitute for skill on descents
  • Use inner voice when calling for my mother on climbs
  • When annoyed by a driver remember:  forgiveness is almost always less expensive than a law suit or an emergency room visit
  • Be one with my bicycle.  All of them.
  • Blessed are the flexible for they can use a lower stack height
  • Stop reminding the Police that you pay their salary
  • Don't let practicality stand in the way of self actualization
  • Be generous with experience and advice.  There is little in life more satisfying than "I told you so"
  • Equipment failures are usually a more credible excuse than "I am having a bad day"
  • Before criticizing anyone, ride a mile in their shoes.  Then, if they get annoyed, you will be a mile away and they will be barefoot
  • Lycra is a privilege, not a right
  • Stop silently riding up behind joggers on bike paths.  It stops being funny when someone has a heart attack
  • Stop offering complete strangers bike fit advice, particularly pedestrians
  • Find some cycling stories that do not involve a near-death experience.  This is NOT how we get people to take up the sport
  • Remember that most motorists automatically forget commandment number 6 in the presence of cyclists
  • Remember that rainbows are God's way of reminding us that beauty is just an optical illusion, except for Italian road bikes
  • Going insane while watching a televised, close sprint during a major tour is a sign of mental health
  • Stop trying to adjust my own front derailleur

Is there a resolution we missed?

We aren't perfect.  It is remotely possible that one or more relevant New Year's Resolutions slipped past us.    If you know of one, please feel free to go to the Official Lakeside Bicycles, "Hey!  You missed a resolution!" data entry page and let us know.  If it makes it past our crack team of judges and we add it to the list, you will have the joy of publication and a free pair of Official Lakeside Bicycles socks!